Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Mobile Phone

Nowadays,we live in an electronic information age.Through this technology,a huge change has taken place in people's live.At present, many people think an electronic information age makes us feel happy.I partly agree with this idea.I think technology has advantages and disadvantages.I'm going to discuss these below.

On the one hand, there are many benefits of mobile phones.Firstly,using mobile phone has made people's lives more convenient than before.You can use it to contact your family and your friends anywhere,anytime.For example,I live in London but my family live in China,I always call them to check they are all right and my parents feel happy when I call them.In addition, the mobile phones have many functions. Such as allowing us to listen to music,take photo and play games.

However,on the other hand mobile phones also have many drawbacks.The biggest problem is that it's not good for your health because it has radiation.It can cause headaches, sickness or memory decline.

To sum up,although there are some problems with mobile phone,in my opinion the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.It's transform in our life!


2 comments:

  1. Hi Wendy,

    Thanks for an excellent first assessed blog post! Very nimpressive. Well-organised, with many good points and some fantastic language, including excellent linking and use of other things we have been studying recently.

    We really do live in a rapidly changing world these days and it's essential that we try to maximise the pros and minimize the drawbacks. What I find really amazing is that all these new technologies have become such a key part of our lives in such a short space of time. It's really incredible. Can you imagine contemporary life without things like mobiles and computers???

    Some wonderful language Wendy. Just a few things to check:

    - 'a huge change has taken place in people's LIVES'

    - 'I think technology has advantages and disadvantages.I'm going to discuss mobile phones' advantages and disadvantages' (Try not to repeat yourself. We can change this to: 'I am going to discuss THESE below').

    - 'On the one hand, there are many benefits OF mobile phones'.

    - 'Firstly,using mobile phone has made people's liveS more convenient than before'.

    - 'You can use it to contact your family' (you don't need 'with' after verbs like contact and discuss)

    -'In addition, mobile phoneS HAVE many functionS' (We tend to use the plural 's' when we talk about things in general like this).

    - 'Such as music, photos and games' (These are the functions) or 'such as ALLOWING US TO listen to music...'

    - 'However,on the other hand mobile phoneS also HAVE many drawbacks' (again, the plural 's' for things in general).

    - 'It can CAUSE headacheS, SICKNESS or memory decline'. ('cause' is a useful verb to talk about negative effects).

    - 'To sum up,although there are some problems with mobile phone, in my opinion the advantages outweigh the disadvantages' (If you use 'although', you don't need to use 'but' becuase they mean the same thing! Excellent sentence though!).

    Well done Wendy. You are doing a really great job so far on the course. Keep it up!

    Rui

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  2. hi,wendy,i'm terry,we met same teacher to teach us,that's lucky.whatever,I hope u study in Oxford everything will be good.

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